Stanley Ebner

On November 26, 2021, Stanley Ebner, 88, died in Washington DC, surrounded by loved ones. Stan is survived by his three children, Susan Canham, her husband Troy, and their children, Gabriel and Isabella; David Ebner, his wife Kate and their children Nolan and Wynne, and Steven Ebner, his wife Terri, and their son Dylan. Their mother, Claudette, and his second wife, Toni, both predeceased him, as did his beloved brother, Milton. Stan was born in the Bronx to Arthur and Rose Ebner on November 16, 1933. His parents immigrated through Ellis Island as young adults, coming from Austria-Hungary and Romania in Eastern Europe, just miles away from each other as the crow flies. He grew up in a Jewish family who wanted very much to be American. When he was still young, Stan’s family moved to New Haven, where he would later attend college at Yale University. His parents ran a restaurant close to the campus, a popular place among the students. The family joke was that the best meal that Arthur prepared was his Sunday ham, which he of course never ate! However, his father encouraged him to look elsewhere for his career -- not in the restaurant business. There were three life experiences that Stan often referred to as being exceptionally formative in his character, and he loved to reminisce about them by sharing his favorite stories, which he referred to as his vignettes: the lumber yard, Camp Brunonia and boot camp. He took pride in how hard he worked summers at a lumber yard, as well as the resulting physical confidence it instilled in him. Stan honed his social skills at his Camp Brunonia in Maine as a camp counselor. He appreciated being a mentor and teacher and took special pleasure in the role he played in his campers’ personal development. Stan joined the Army after graduating from Yale Law School in 1958. (Medical school was the plan for a time, but Stan found early on through making an attempt at the LSATs that he was much better suited to an education in the legal profession.) His basic training course allowed him to make use of the physical skills he had developed in the lumber yard and further hone the leadership skills he had developed at Camp Brunonia - both traits that would serve him well in his professional career. During boot camp, he was made the leader of his platoon and was awarded a commendation for the outstanding soldier of the entire camp - “Soldier of the Cycle”. Stanley married Claudette Carroll in 1960, and they lived in Washington DC, before moving to an Army base on Governer’s Island, NY in 1961, where Susan was born. They then moved to Charlottesville where Stan joined the Army’s Judge Advocate General program. David was born there in 1964. He moved the entire family to Heidelberg, Germany, for three years, where Steven was born in 1966. He finished his tour in the Army as a major in Ft. Devens, Massachusetts. In 1968, Stanley moved his family to Alexandria to work for the Justice Department, beginning his Washington career. He worked as the General Counsel at the Office of Management and Budget of the White House under Presidents Nixon and Ford. He left the government to help form Timmons and Company, a prominent lobbying firm. After years of success, he was hired by Northrop, a client of Timmons and Co. to head-up the Washington DC office. He later joined McDonnell Douglass as the head of the DC office and ended his storied career as the DC office head at Boeing, after the companies merged. After retiring, he did a lot of consulting in the aviation industry. Stan used to joke that he had ridden in every plane except the one-seaters, never learning to fly himself. He married Toni Sidley in 1987, and they remained married until her death at Thanksgiving of 2018. He was very fond of Toni's son, Steven, his wife, Annie, and their three boys. Stan was an imposing man, but adored by most everyone who knew him. He loved making his staff and later his nurses comfortable through his kindness and laughter. His caregivers at Grand Oaks, where he lived for the last several years of his life were quite fond of him and knew to keep a steady supply of chocolates coming! Stanley was a tremendous father, always dropping everything to lend an ear. An amazing listener, Stan also had a penchant for telling stories. His memory was infallible, and he could easily tell you the names of his roommates, coworkers and childhood friends. Despite the fact that Stan had a distinguished career, he made the time to attend all of his childrens’ and grandchildrens’ performances and sporting events. And he did his very best to take care of all the people in his life. Stan loved music. He was partial to classical, and could tell you not only the piece that was playing, but often who was performing. But he loved many genres of music, and instilled that appreciation of music to his children. He played folk songs on the guitar, and in later years loved listening to his son, David, perform for him. Martha's Vineyard and his family there held a special place in his heart, as did Maine, the location of his beloved Camp Brunonia. Parkinson's plagued Stanley during his later years, but he continued to dream of visiting his Dave's lake house and his daughter's "territory," as he referred to it in Maine. He was remarkably resilient, and always grateful to be living life. Stanley was remarkably upbeat during the worst of the pandemic, and loved Zooming with his children and other family. But after over a year when visiting family was finally allowed at his residence, he was ecstatic. He lived by several euphemisms. As an English Literature Major at Yale, he was very fond of quoting Shakespeare. Stan’s favorite words to live by were, “This above all, to thine own self be true.” Stan’s genuine affection for animals was passed onto subsequent generations. He was especially fond of cats, and his family’s pets were always excited to see him. Stan will be missed terribly, and his children will be forever grateful for having him as their father, and for so many years into their adulthood. He was an inspiration and source of immense comfort. A memorial service and reception for Stanley is scheduled for April 14 at Temple Rodef Shalom. More details will be shared at a later date. In early 2023, there will be a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research.

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Stanley Ebner

November 16, 1933 - November 26, 2021